One Step

For the past few months, I have been in an active process of waiting.  Waiting to tell my story as God directs, and to share with you certain personal events and experiences of my life with the deepest desire that it will help you grow in faith, hope and perseverance on your personal healing journey.  It has been said, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step” (Lao Tzu).  My greatest hope is that by sharing my healing journey with you one step at a time, we can find ourselves on the same path together as we trek back to our Heavenly home- and that you find healing along the way.  I testify that God is a God of miracles and that He will show you the way to heal by His hand as you seek His council.  Often when we become ill for a prolonged period of time, we may forgo seeking guidance from above and solely rely on the opinions and decisions of healthcare practitioners and others.  While it can be helpful to seek guidance and opinions from professionally trained individuals, it is imperative that we council with our Father above in all our doings.  It often requires us to search and seek out information from the best sources, asking Him to direct our path.  There may be times where we may feel prompted to try something that doesn’t work, and then move on to another modality when it is presented to us.  Sometimes we may need medications to manage symptoms, but we should not cease actively striving to heal and treat the root cause of the symptoms.  It sometimes takes years of trial and error until we stumble upon the truth behind our illness and therefore the correct tools to heal.  All the while, the journey is important.  It is not wasted time or effort.  I have realized that in our healing journey, we often give others opportunities to learn from us (health providers and practitioners) and seek out new modalities for treatment.  We additionally allow others to grow through service and sacrifice when we need rest and repose, and we also find great personal power to go and do what the Lord would have us do despite our struggles.  Some individuals heal miraculously while others have a more prolonged journey.  Regardless of the timing, it is perfect and proper for each individual.  It has been made known to me that every child of God (which is us!) can be healed in this life from illness if they are not appointed unto death.

“And again, it shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed.”

Doctrine & Covenants 42:48

God is true to His word and He will fulfill His promise if we demonstrate enough faith through our actions.   It requires us to develop the faith sufficient to be healed in order for this to occur.  I testify that the process of truly healing from chronic illness is an active one that takes personal responsibility and grit!  It takes great patience and hope to never give up and continuing to develop the gift of “faith to be healed.”  Let not this process overwhelm you!  I will share with you how I did this, taking it one day at a time.  One step at a time, one day at a time- by small and simple means are great things brought to pass.  We can receive the miracle of healing by doing little, consistent things everyday.  God knows each of us individually, and He knows what we can give and sacrifice- it will be different for each individual and circumstance.  Yet, by following His specific guidance for you, you will be empowered to continue forward on your journey to complete health and wholeness.  Know that I am praying for you daily on this journey, and you are not alone.



“Curses” and “Covenants”- Breaking the Chain

I promise this post is related to health- so bear with me!  I have been pondering Covenants and Curses, how they are created and stored in our spiritual DNA.  They are not visible to the physical eye, but are the backbone of the lives we create here, the things we and our posterity will experience, and can create either chaos or constructive growth.

For those familiar with the Book of Mormon, it is an account of an ancient people in the Americas who believed in God and Jesus Christ.  Through the course of time, their records were handed down from one generation to the next, wherein their proceedings could be recorded and shared.  This information was handed down to the future generation for wise purposes:

1) to preserve and educate their offspring of historical events that were meaningful and important.  This included the covenants they made to God, and the promised blessings granted to them if they were faithful and diligent in keeping His commandments.

2) to remind them of where they came from- their lineage, and the many difficulties their ancestors went through and the sacrifices they made to bring their offspring the blessings of a promised land, protection and posterity.

3) to caution them about the “false traditions” of their fathers, which induced many of their family members to stray and fall into disbelief, or unbelief regarding a truth.  Often these traditions started out with a slight deviation from the truth, until it carried whole nations off course and led to their utter destruction spiritually and physically.

Today we still can succumb to these “false traditions”.  False traditions create curses which may not be evident at first, but can bring greater condemnation or spiritual decay later.  Furthermore, it is up to the rising generation to find and break these curses, that we may heal the chain (the spiritual DNA of humanity).

An example of a “chain breaker” is Abraham, who lived in ancient Egypt.  His father had been led away by false traditions of idol worship, and Abraham would not bow down to these idols.  As a result, he was to be sacrificed by his father’s priest.  His father had taken upon himself the “curse” of sacrificing men, women and children to these idols, false Gods who had no power and thus no mercy.  Abraham escaped by divine intervention, and yet years later was asked by the true and living God to sacrifice His only son Isaac.  In essence, he was called upon to do the very thing that was abominable in the sight of God- the very thing he was most fearful of.  Yet, in his great faith, he made a “covenant” with God, a promise that he would follow through.  Because of His great faith in God, as he made this covenant the curse was broken.  At the very last second, when Isaac would have taken his last earthly breath, God intervened and lovingly told Abraham that his test was passed.  We are here likewise to break chains for our family line, for all of humanity- and for ourselves.

There are many “false traditions” in our society today that create chains.  Can you think of any that you or your family have embraced?  They may be small, and almost imperceptible, or they may have grown and become something great.  Here are some examples I’ve found:

“Moderation in all things”- the belief that it is ok to be moderate in consumption of all things, even when evidence proves the additives in those foods to be harmful.  This breeds a rationale that a little bit of this or that won’t kill you- so it is ok.  Thus we consume foods highly refined and chemically processed which create food addictions, cravings and insatiable appetites.

“Don’t ask, don’t tell”- the belief that we don’t need to inquire about certain additives, or products used in our society today, and that it is not needful to know everything that goes into our holy vessels.  This breeds a rationale that the organization who oversees our food, beverage and prescription use knows what they are doing and we should just “trust them.”

“Everyone is doing it”- the belief that because our society as a whole has adopted certain consumption habits, that it is “just the world we live in” and we therefore go along with it.  Because it takes more effort to find and prepare healthier food, we forgo doing so because the pizza is easier to purchase.  I admit, I have been here!  And I watched these decisions build up to affect my health deleteriously.  I am grateful for the wake-up call, so I now can teach my family and friends better eating habits.  This is one of the most dangerous belief systems that is affecting our health today.  I cannot tell you how many dear patients I have who just can’t seem to shift into healthier eating habits.  They report, “it is just too hard to do it,” or “I tried but then my coworkers brought donuts,” or “but I have this birthday dinner to go to tomorrow night.”  Thus they never experience improvement with their health problems.  Our whole social system revolves around food- the wrong foods, and it is taking a toll on our health, even for our children.  It has become so ingrained in us, the processed food regime that when we are told that a whole foods diet can bring us health- we shockingly admit, “but I wouldn’t know what to eat!”

There are a few stories in scripture that illustrate ways to break these traditions, and eliminate the curses they bring.  Daniel, when a youth was taken to Babylon where he was indoctrinated in their educational system, and was given “rich foods” to eat.  Despite everyone else conforming to this way of living, Daniel would not.  He chose to eat the way he had been taught, and in so doing was richly blessed by the Lord.  His intellect and clarity of mind were preserved, and he was able to hear the word of the Lord.  As a result, he had the privilege of interpreting King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream.

Sha’drach, Me’shach, and Abed’nego also stood true to their beliefs when in Babylon.  Like Daniel, they would not consume the rich foods and wine everyone else was given.  I imagine there were many captives taken into Babylon, and many chose to conform to the ways of Babylon.  But these young men would not.  By their adherence to eating the way they had been taught of God, they were protected even in the fiery furnace when the angry King threw them there to die.  Instead they had the privilege of seeing an angel of the Lord!  They were thereafter promoted by the King to be among His choicest servants.  Their example led King Nebuchadenezzar to believe in the veracity of their God.

Many of us understand we are not to be compelled in all things- God wants us to follow personal revelation and guidance as we seek to find the truth of all things, and not just of things that pertain to health.  However, in scripture “health” also means salvation- living with our eternal parents once again.  Therefore, do we not find it interesting that there is a law of “health”, and an invitation to follow it? By complying with a temporal law of “health” there are spiritual blessings we reap.  A heightened sensitivity to the spirit, greater knowing and understanding of the things of God, and a strengthened resolve to follow Him are just a few. As these blessings are so evident in abiding by these principles of health, should we not celebrate it’s inclusion for our welfare?  Moreover, shall we not seek to support others who choose to live the law of health as they see fit and not impose our own belief system?  I hope and pray that as we pass through our journeys to healing and health, that we can recognize the power that comes from eating healthy, whole foods.  May we be grateful for their existence and the spiritual, emotional and physical healing that takes place by their consumption and not judge others for what they choose to consume.  We are eternal- and the law of health is as well!  I testify as we adhere to the law of health, and seek to understand it for our personal welfare, we will be blessed both now and in the eternities.


March 2016


The end of March we went on a wonderful vacation.  We had spent over a year planning it and I was grateful to be in the “honeymoon” phase of treating my Lyme symptoms.  Indeed, upon starting the antivirals and changing my diet, the jaw pain was gone, as was the trigger point pain and arthritis and my energy was still great. Sleep was pretty good with my supplements of GABA and 5HTP, and my mood had been fairly steady.  I was grateful to be able to enjoy the trip!  Me and my husband went on a cruise for a week to Cozumel and Belize while my sweet in-laws took care of the kids, and then upon arriving back in Florida we took the children to Disney World.  It was phenomenal, and so much fun!  We had purchased a Disney Dining plan with the children to more easily accommodate character dining experiences, but I did my best to avoid gluten (although I’m sure there were traces in salad dressings etc) and I know I had some dairy and eggs contained in things, but I really tried to eat more fresh fruits, salads, and avoid breads, pancakes and the breakfast items that I knew contained all the foods that feed a virus.  I did have a gluten-free cupcake though- we were in Disney World, right?!  At any rate, it was a wonderful trip and I was so grateful to be able to enjoy it fairly symptom free.  It also helped me realize what a HUGE factor stress plays in our lives.  When we are on vacation and relaxed, our health definitely improves.  Being exposed to sunlight and nature, and having minimal distractions allows us to tap into the power from above and receive needed insight and inspiration.  I have often reflected on this wonderful time we had as a family, and it reminds me how important it is to prioritize things in our life.  Family relationships (after our relationship with God) are the most important thing in this world.  It doesn’t matter how “busy” we are, or how much money we make- if we neglect the welfare of our family and ourselves it is worthless.  I also recognized how so often we strive to be “busy” as it is the acceptable thing in society today.  While indeed it is good to be engaged in a good cause, it is wise step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture before delving into another project.  When we see the bigger picture, our work can become more meaningful and divinely directed, thereby the outcome can be far greater than our own.  It also reduces the stress when our accomplishment is not to meet a deadline, but to create something new with our Creator!  It unlocks a conduit to our higher self from within, where ideas flow freely and more inspiration can come.  I have found that as I align to God’s will and ask Him what He would like me to do, it is often not what I had projected for myself.  Sometimes He wants me to slow down, ponder and reflect on certain aspects of life and other times He catapults me forward in motion with insight and inspiration beyond my years.  It is a process of growth and development that sometimes does not feel linear, but it is important to realize that when we feel we are being held back- we are often making the most progress forward.  I was grateful for this time with my family before I was required to dramatically slow down and allow myself to go through the dark valley of fatigue, depression and illness.  It is a tender mercy God granted unto me that I will never forget.  If you are in the process of slowing down, and taking time out for yourself- I would encourage you not to feel guilt, frustration or anger.  Consider it a blessed opportunity for self introspection, renewal and deepening your connection to God and the Universe.  It is a prime opportunity to shift priorities in your life and focus on what truly matters.  Give yourself the best nutrition, supplements and support you feel you need as guided by the spirit and your health practitioner.  Practice daily meditation, deep breathing, relaxation and connecting to Mother Earth.  Start a gratitude journal wherein you write down a few things daily for which you are thankful.  Strive not to fall into the “victim” mode, but recognize that you have POWER to overcome your illness.  When you seek out and find the truth to your illness you can obtain the correct modalities needed to heal.  You become empowered, directed and dutiful.  The more you diligently apply all tools to your healing- body, mind and spirit, the greater blessings you will reap.  Remember to have patience- that is a beautiful and blessed gift we can receive when going through our health trial.  Patience allows us to gracefully weather the storm and seek heaven’s light amidst the clouds.  And as we do that, rays of sunshine will stream into our souls and fill us with joy and gratitude.  We will HEAL body, mind and spirit.  And it will be glorious.




Some people may heal in an instant- miraculously in this life.  But for the majority who struggle with chronic illness, we chose the trial of health so we could learn great lessons, grow strong in our faith and ultimately overcome.  The miracle of healing in this life can be had by ALL who are not appointed unto death, when we do our part and take personal responsibility to heal.  But what does that mean?  It means that we become aligned to the will of God.  Alignment to God’s will happens on a variety of planes and in different ways.  The Universe itself has laws by which it is governed.  God aligns to Universal laws and He does not disobey.  He thus wishes to grant us miracles of healing, but we HAVE to do our part in order for the Universe to comply.  In the physical sense, we MUST align to God’s truth behind our illness or symptoms.  If the truth behind our illness is here on the earth, we are expected to find it through guidance by the Holy Spirit.  If we never find the true cause behind our symptoms or illness (and a Diagnosis is NOT a true cause!) we will be stuck behind a falsehood, and be applying inappropriate therapy to heal us.  We may see symptomatic improvement but we will not fully heal this way.  When we find the truth behind our illness, we then must align to the true treatment.  True healing takes time, dedication, temperance, obedience to the spirit, strength, commitment to God, faith, patience, long suffering, charity, optimism, and grit!  Thus if we are offered a quick treatment option (excluding the miracle of life saving surgeries), it most likely is not the true answer to our healing journey.  Aligning to the true cause and treatment of our illness is imperative to heal- it is Universal Law.

The spirit also has to be incorporated to fully heal, and the spiritual plane includes modalities which bring more light into the soul that will cast out darkness of disease.  I discuss this more in my book (soon to be published), but these modalities include transcribing the spiritual DNA in positivity through our thoughts, words, and actions, incorporating daily scripture study, prayer, meditation, and service on our journey to heal.  The more of God’s truth we align to and ascribe to in the spiritual sense, the brighter our light becomes, and the greater our capability to cast out darkness of disease.  As all things were created spiritually before they were physically wrought we can also add more light through physical means- our DIET, sunshine (or meditation about the sun in darker weather), living water, connecting with nature, and physical exercise (if the spirit tells you it is ok to do so).  It is not well known that fresh fruits and vegetables hold the power of the sun! They hold spiritual, physical, and emotional strength to give us when we are struggling.  There are countless studies that describe their physical compounds and benefits, but no one has fully tapped into the amazing spiritual and emotional powers that fruits and vegetables hold to help us heal.  An extremely healthy diet is essential to help bring us from the abyss of chronic illness and aide our soul to heal.  The more light you obtain from your diet, the more power you have to cast out darkness of disease.  Processed, refined foods have very little light and are just fractured components of whole foods.  Choose wisely what foods you will consume in order to heal.  If you feel poorly upon consuming fruits and vegetables, do not give up!  It merely means you have a lot of darkness of disease to combat.  Start little by little so your body can acclimate accordingly.

Aligning to the right energy frequency is also essential.  Lightwaves have a frequency, with the brightest light being larger in amplitude…which is why aligning to as much light as possible (physical, spiritual, emotional) is so helpful to heal.  There are also energy frequencies that many of us may not be aware of.  When we are depressed, angry or frustrated our energy frequencies are low.  When we are excited, joyful and happy our energy frequencies are higher.  Indeed these frequencies are not running on a physical plane, but can be felt and sensed by attuned individuals.  These frequencies run through our bodies like energy currents and in essence are like the battery of the soul.  The more we learn to live at a higher frequency- clearing negative emotions, feelings and getting rid of built up emotional baggage, the higher our frequency can become.  Changing our outlook and striving to see the big picture of life can help us harness challenging emotions.  Pathogens that cause illness cannot grow in higher frequencies of light, sound, and vibration combined.  Interestingly, herbal supplements (and whole foods) have a positive energy frequency tied to them.  Thus you can help to raise your frequency (again) by the foods you consume and the supplements you feel led to take.  Incorporation of emotional clearing with a well versed practitioner or counselor can also be helpful if that feels appropriate.  Listening to uplifting music also helps raise your energy frequency and can help you heal!  Service also raises your light and energy frequency- and can help you heal from emotional distress.

Ultimately, aligning to God’s will also means trusting His timetable.  We let go of our wants and our agenda and completely turn this chapter of our life over to Him.  This signifies that we are willing to wait patiently on Him.  Waiting does not mean passively sitting around- but ACTIVELY doing everything in our power to heal, applying the true modalities to heal while we also strive to grow in Faith, Charity, Patience, Kindness, Temperance, Hope, and Gratitude. We also have to TRUST Him completely. If we do not fully trust in His guidance and council, we will not stick to the plan He has led us to.  If we don’t believe He can heal us with 100% certainty- He can’t do it.  It takes unshakeable faith, no second guessing or questioning our worthiness to be healed in order for the miracle to occur.  We are children of God- and when we do our part in every way, our faith becomes unshakeable.  We realize we have done EVERYTHING in our power to heal, and we have no shame coming to the throne of God to ask for His power to do the rest.  I testify that in order to obtain a miracle of healing- we must do our part, to the best of our ability without wavering.  We must incorporate all the truth and light we can, and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit as we pursue our path to healing.  In my 18 month journey, I never asked for God to heal me, but did my utmost to do my part.  When I had done all I could do, the spirit guided me to ask for God’s power to intercede- and I proceeded accordingly.  Prior to being healed, I continually reflected on the many tender mercies and “mini miracles” I received along the way.  Finding strength to make it through another day, or being able to serve others despite severe sleep deprivation and fatigue were some of the many incredible experiences I had that let me know I was not alone.  I knew God was aware of me and that I had been strengthened by Angels and other unseen beings of light.  Recognizing their support of me on the journey helped me take it ONE day at a time, adhering to the small and simple steps He had led me to pursue.  And I treasured the “good” days, gave thanks for them and saw them as tender mercies letting me know I was on the right track.  I know you too can heal as you align 100% to the TRUTH behind your illness, as well as the true modalities to heal.  As you follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit you will know the path to follow and find your way to wholeness and health again.  My love is with you- I am cheering you on, as are all the angels above!  Don’t give up- you CAN do this, one day at a time.

Epstein Barr

Pro-Creation Foes


When I recognized that Epstein Barr Virus was behind the postpartum mood changes and anxiety I had experienced, I was overjoyed.  I was so thrilled to know the cause of symptoms I had experienced after each birth!!  Moreover, I was saddened that I had not known this earlier, when I decided that due to the severity of my postpartum symptoms I wouldn’t have any more children.  My husband was fine with the three we had already, but I loved pregnancy.  I loved feeling movement and creating life- I loved being a mother, holding that newborn baby and smelling the scent of heaven.  I was frustrated that something so small as a virus could have caused such havoc in my life.  But the knowledge was empowering, and I finally felt ready to come off the antidepressant medication I was prescribed for postpartum anxiety 7 years prior.  It took about 8 weeks of a slow taper to minimize symptoms but I did it!!  I cannot tell you how overjoyed I was to be freed of a medication that I had depended on to manage mood symptoms so long.  Knowing the truth behind my symptoms gave me the power to overcome, and I was shocked that there were studies and references to postpartum mood disorders being linked to Epstein Barr Virus and immune activation.  I pondered how if I had known back then it was viral, perhaps I could have treated it appropriately and avoided the present onslaught of Lyme symptoms.  I wondered why in all my educational endeavors I had not been introduced to this information before!  Yet, I was grateful to now know and be on the path to treating the root cause of my symptoms.  I prayed to know if I should come off the medication, and received an affirmative answer.  I had been educated on other ways I could support my mood if needed on my journey, and I felt ready to wean off.  It was a joyful day when I no longer needed to get refills on a medication that had plastics (enteric coating) and dyes added to it, which I felt would inhibit my body to heal.  I still had a long way to go, but this was a gift I was grateful for.

IMG_9831 To anyone who has suffered from postpartum mood disorders- I would encourage you not to give up!  Truly the root cause is NOT hormone fluctuations.  The hormone alterations indeed trigger viral activation- and the onslaught of inflammatory cytokines can create insomnia, anxiety, and depression.  Additionally the immune activation and subsequent inflammation from the viral encounter hit the adrenals hard, so you feel overwhelmed and emotionally taxed.  As if giving childbirth wasn’t enough, sleep deprivation and nutritional deficiencies can all set up the perfect storm for a virus to grow.  Looking back historically on my deliveries- I had to have a C section after 26 hours of labor with my first, had a failed VBAC with my second (after 4.5 hours of pushing) and then scheduled the C section with the last.  Surgical intervention, IV antibiotics and pushing too fast in recovery were all factors that I feel played into activation of my EBV.  It was helpful that the subsequent deliveries were planned with sufficient spousal help at home (he was able to take 4 weeks off post delivery to help me, bless him!) and I thus recovered better and took time to rest.  At the time for me, I did not know there were any alternatives to medication to treat post partum mood disorders- and in hindsight, my symptoms were so crippling and severe I don’t know if natural therapies would have been enough.  To that question I will never know the answer, but I am so grateful for medications for when we need them.  Yet, I am a strong believer in fixing the root cause to obtain resolution of the symptoms in the long run.  Sometimes it takes “out of the box” thinking and application of knowledge in a variety of ways to come to the appropriate conclusions, which then guide appropriate interventions to truly heal.  As we seek out the root cause, and obtain the appropriate remedies- we can heal from mood disorders.  It is often not a quick, easy path of limited duration, but takes personal accountability and responsibility to change our lifestyle, dietary habits, and thoughts.  It is NOT done overnight, it may take months to years…but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.  Indeed, depression can be physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, or stem from passed down familial beliefs and ideas which inhibit our progression.  Usually it is multifactorial which is why medication alone does not suffice.  Also- there is an adversary!  Anytime we feel like we can’t change, or we are just the way we are, or beat ourselves up over things- that is all from the adversary.  He does not want you to feel joy, to conquer and overcome.  When we remember we are eternal beings, and have been given capabilities beyond our understanding to overcome, it enables us to walk towards more light, more faith and hope.  And that light can grow and become brighter and brighter, even until the perfect day.  I know how crippling depression and anxiety can be, but I testify to you that it is possible to overcome through faith in Jesus Christ.  He walks the path with you, He knows what it feels like, and He knows how to help you.  He will guide you to the appropriate interventions if you have an open mind and willing heart, and desire to get to the root cause.  When depression is so dark that you feel silence from the heavens- know that you are NOT alone.  Angels are ever present, but at times the agony of our soul is so acute we cannot feel the influence of heaven.  It is then that we rely on faith and trust those who God places in our path to guide us.  To those who have lost a loved one to depression- my heart goes out to you.  I know when depression is so severe and unrelenting, the release from this life may seem like the only answer.  We cannot judge anyone who suffers so much that they choose to cross on early.  After having the opportunity to feel such dark, deep unrelenting sorrow I can understand better the agony chronic depression poses.  There are no words to describe it.  To all of you who suffer from dysphoria and depression- you are loved beyond measure.  It is my deepest hope and prayer that you will find the root cause to your symptoms so you can heal.



February 2016


February 12, 2016 began as any typical day would. I had flown into Las Vegas for the annual BHRT symposium which I regularly attended.  I slept well, awoke refreshed and pulled on my gym clothes.  Heading down to the hotel gym, I noticed my right knee was hurting which was unusual, but I paid no attention to it.  I proposed that I must have twisted it somehow maneuvering the luggage to my room the night before.  The elevator doors opened and I found myself in the hotel’s gym.  The majority of treadmills were taken but I luckily found one available.  After jogging a short while, my other knee started to bother me as well.  I decided to go to the eliptical machine, thinking it would be easier on my knees, but there were none available so I cut my workout short.  I figured that the knee pain would subside after sufficient stretching and rest.  Yet I had to hurry upstairs and get ready for the conference, so after a brief stretching period I returned to my room to shower and get ready.

The conference was the typical flow from previous years, with a keynote speaker and then brief breaks between the other lecturers.  I was interested in the information and took meticulous notes.  However, I was becoming distracted by trigger point pain in my neck that extended into the back of my head.  The knots in my neck were severe, and unlike anything I had ever experienced before.  I attempted to massage them without much success, then left briefly to get more water, thinking it was perhaps dehydration.  None of these measures provided relief.  The knee pain was still present, but not as noticeable except when walking.  Contriving other potential causes, I thought that perhaps I was reacting to a preservative the hotel may have used on the fruit salad that morning at breakfast.  This still was a far reach for causation, as I had never reacted to anything like that before in my life.

I vividly remember this next moment- for it was a pivotal, essential and influential matter of minutes that would alter the path of my life.  I had the opportunity to sit next to a dear colleague at lunch, who during our conversation mentioned a book she had been reading by Anthony William.  She indicated that he discussed the pathology behind chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, and cited Epstein Barr Virus and other pathogens as the cause.  I was intrigued and felt strongly that I needed to read his book.  I remembered the two weeks when I was 16 that I had symptoms consistent with mono, although I had never been officially diagnosed.  Additionally, my memory was drawn to an incident when I was 17, crying on the steps of my home and telling my mother I feared I would not be able to run again.  I had an episode of knee pain at that time that only lasted a few days and was gone- such pain was identical to what I was currently experiencing.  That evening in my hotel I purchased his first book and read for hours.  I remember feeling like the few missing pieces to my puzzle as a provider were being placed before me.  I had already understood and integrated care for adrenals, thyroid, digestive health, and hormone imbalances- but I knew that there was a missing piece that caused the imbalances to begin with.  I recognized also that my personal situation was precarious, and felt that I needed to act.  The spirit indicated to me that I was about to fall off the precipice of health into chronic illness if I did not act quickly.

Upon return home the next day, I immediately went and purchased some antiviral tinctures that felt right to me, and altered my diet as I felt impressed to do so.  I had started developing jaw pain at this point, and I remember sitting in the parking lot of a natural foods store and immediately starting my first dose of lobelia.  Within minutes, the pain in my jaw dissipated!  I was pleasantly surprised and grateful.  I felt like I had dodged a bullet, and was going to recover quickly.  Yet, little did I know that my journey with Lyme had just begun.


Foundational Features

To anyone that has suffered or is currently suffering with chronic illness- I am in awe of you.  It is an honor to know you and understand some of your struggles personally.  No one can understand what it is like to live with chronic pain, fatigue, or neurological symptoms day in and day out unless they’ve lived it.  It is not something I would wish on anyone- yet, I also have come to realize that the trial of chronic illness is granted to some of the strongest spirits!  Indeed, many of those who are presently afflicted in their physical tabernacle were some of the brightest lights in heaven.  In the premortal life before we came to this earth, we had opportunities to learn and grow.  We had the gospel of Jesus Christ amongst other great knowledge available to us, and we were given agency to choose what we wanted to study and learn.  The more knowledge of truth we acquired, the greater our light grew.  Each spirit child of God was different, even as we are today.  Some passionately pursued the arts, while others were more inclined to science or physics.  Some loved to study the human body and looked forward to obtaining one of their own to cherish.  There were others who didn’t study much at all, and pursued a more laid-back approach to learning the intricacies of the universe.  Regardless of each spirit’s tendencies and ambitions, all were equally loved by our Heavenly Parents.  They wanted each of us to succeed and helped us in any way they could when we would go to them for help.  At the close of our spiritual sojourn we were given the opportunity to obtain a body and further our eternal education- and in this we were delighted! We each had the opportunity to sit down with our Maker and discuss our life here on earth.  To those who had progressed and learned much, they desired to take upon them specific challenges in the flesh.  Some of these spirits did so because they loved their brothers and sisters so much, and they wanted to understand their suffering.  Others did so because they knew that out of the deepest depths of sorrow would come the greatest joy.  The law of opposition is a Universal law- for we could not know joy without sorrow, pleasure without pain, or light without darkness.  The two ends of the spectrum are essential to our growth and development.  As spiritual beings of light we saw our short journey here and what it would entail, and because we knew who we were- the power we possessed to overcome, the angelic help and spiritual guidance we would receive, and the experience we would obtain, we confidently chose to come to this earth.  We knew that in the end, the exultant joy and happiness we would receive upon returning home to our Father’s presence would be worth everything.  The experience and knowledge we gain here carries with us to the next life, never to be taken away from us.  This is an incredible gift, for all things we create in love are added upon us and glorify God.  During the struggle and the suffering, we grow exponentially in light.  As we choose to submit cheerfully and patiently in our afflictions, we are given further insight and understanding.  We learn concepts that can only be taught by Heaven’s light, and are strengthened to endure beyond our personal capacity.  We find out who we are as we find our inner strength as a spiritual child of a God and miraculously make it through another day.  Knowing we are eternal beings of light is important.  It is foundational to healing.  Chronic illness tries to rob us of our eternal identity.  Physical symptoms can become scary and make us fear the future- but the truth is, we are the future.  We have always existed and always will exist, and our mortal bodies are a gift by which we can navigate this life.  We are not our physical body!  When we begin to define ourselves by our physical appearance, the color of our eyes or hair (or the lack thereof!;))- we demote the spiritual beings we are within.  When Adam and Eve were placed here on the earth, they were given dominion over all things- including their bodies!  This means that as spiritual beings, we have the opportunity to care for, guide and direct our bodies to heal- and not allow the fears of the flesh to overcome the strength of the spirit.  Whenever we heal physically, it is always done by our spirit through Christ’s power- isn’t that incredible?  The spiritual and physical aspects to healing are combined and cannot be separated.  It is a foundational principle which we often take for granted.  Yet, we often focus solely on the physical things over the spiritual, which diminishes our ability to heal.  Additionally, it dampens the Holy Spirit’s ability to guide us and direct us through the chaos of the storm when we allow physical fears to direct us.  So, remember- you are eternal, you are divine offspring of a God!  That knowledge is powerful and purposeful.  If you have not yet asked God if you are His child- now is the time to ask!  It also can be very beneficial to ask why you are undergoing this trial of illness at this time.  The answer may not be immediate, but it will come in time.  It amazes me how many individuals truly came down to experience physical or emotional illness so they could help others through their own suffering!  As spiritual beings of light, our love is great.



“And now my sons, remember, remember, that is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.”

Helaman 5:12

Of all the foundations on which to build, I testify that the foundation of Jesus Christ will never fail you.  It will never crumble or disintegrate when the winds and rains of doubt come, it will hold fast and protect you, comfort you and strengthen you during your times of trial.  His light will guide you and direct you to safety amidst the storms of life.  His love can heal any and all wounds, and He will bear your burdens as you give them to Him.  I know this to be true, as He did this for me- for which I am eternally grateful.